Too Dramatic, Too Loud, Too Dark
Doechii's GRAMMY's speech spoke to me, a dark skinned, loud and dramatic Black woman.
Welcome to the second edition of Kenya’s Corner, where I share the things I’m thinking about, my latest ADHD fixations and the stories I’ve been reading.
In today’s newsletter, I wrote about how Doechii’s GRAMMYs speech moved me to tears and I share an herbal tea recipe.
DOECHII’S MESSAGE TO LOUD BLACK GIRLS
I’ve had the same five to seven songs in rotation for years, and it’s rare for me to add new music to my rotation. My attention span is just waaaayyy too short (shout out to the Black girls with ADHD) to give a song more than 17 seconds to catch my interest, and I would rather listen to the same exact songs for the remainder of my life than make my brain pay attention to something new.
But Doechii, the female MC behind this eclectic, explosive and electrifying mixtape, ALLIGATOR BITES NEVER HEAL, caught my attention — and she held it. Her beats are jerky and unpredictable, yet they fit with her words like the pieces of a puzzle. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a celebrity on my screen that I felt understood by, even though she’s never met me and I’ve never met them. The last time I felt like that was when I would watch True Jackson, VP with KeKe Palmer (we’re really friends in my head) — for other people I usually just don’t feel connected to them.
I feel even more disconnected from awards shows like The GRAMMYs. Every year, it seems like the same artists whose music I don’t listen to get the same awards, and Black music enthusiasts find themselves annoyed that their favorite Black artist was snubbed in the Song of the Year, Album of the Year and Record of the Year (which … what is the difference between SOTY and ROTY? Please???).
But again, Doechii changed my mind. She caught my attention and she held it during her speech when she became the third woman to win Best Rap Album. Toward the end of her speech, it became so clear why I feel so understood and represented by her.
“Don’t allow anybody to project stereotypes on you that tell you that you can’t be here,” she said, pleading to Black girls and women during her acceptance speech. “That you’re too dark, or that you’re not smart enough or that you’re too dramatic or you’re too loud.”
The conviction in my heart came when she added:
“You are exactly who you need to be.”
When I think about the representation that Black girls and women get in media, they very often tell us that a Black woman’s best qualities are confident, well put together, accomplished and poised. It’s like there’s a level of perfection required to be a Black woman who is loved by all — no scandals, no drama and perhaps no words, especially if they are ebonic and cultural words.
But then Doechii…
Her satirical spin about an imperfect relationship that ended with infidelity (DENIAL IS A RIVER) ended up being her first entry on Billboard. Her album run where she detailed her imperfect life in interviews so vulnerably — talking about her dedication to sobriety and bearing some of the deepest parts of her life — it catapulted her to the damn GRAMMYs. Doechii is part of a rare group of dark skinned Black girls who made it being their full authentic self, where she isn’t hiding behind an image of perfection.
I strive for this. I’m a big personality. You can probably hear me walking down a hallway boisterously laughing on the phone. If I drop a pen, I gasp loudly and put my hands over my mouth when I do it. Just about every opinion I have comes out of my mouth and never stays in my brain. With this big personality came the understanding that I might have to shrink it because no one was going to make room for me — I would have to figure out how to fit into rooms I rightfully belong in.
I get exhausted from it because I am too big to make small. I am too loud to shush. I am too fun to have people frowning around me. I am too bright to accept and live in darkness.
Doechii’s speech may have been impromptu, or she may have practiced it in the mirror years ago when she envisioned herself on the GRAMMYs stage. Regardless, I know it moved me and Black girls everywhere.
Too Dramatic. Too Loud. Too Dark.
This week’s fixation: Valerian Root Sleepy Time Iced Tea
Ok so I have always been so interested in what the things outside of my body can do to the inside of my body. Like when I go into the part of the grocery store where all the vitamins and herbal teas are, I’m just in awe that there are so many little substances that (allegedly) do all this cool stuff for your body. Why wouldn’t I want to chew two gummy worms that will increase my serotonin levels and put me in a great mood? Why would I not spray lavender all over my room to help me get a good night’s sleep.
Lately. I’ve been having lots of fun making different bedtime teas with herbs like chamomile, lavender and my newest obsession, valerian root. I have a valerian root iced tea recipe that I’m excited to share! Before you try it, make sure you look up Valerian Root and determine if it’s safe for you to take.
Valerian root is this herb that can help you sleep and is said to treat anxiety. When I drink a cup of it, it’s like I fall into a different dimension of sleep that even sleep researchers may not know about. I really enjoy using it in my wind down period and there’s only one downside to it — Valerian root smells like feet.
Once you get past it, it’s all good, but here’s the recipe!
Ingredients:
1 cup brewed valerian root tea, 2 teaspoons of brown sugar and 1/3 cup milk of your choosing. I usually use oat milk.
Instructions:
Brew the tea! This is iced tea, so I usually brew mine well before bed time and put it in the fridge. But if you don’t have time, you can brew a valerian tea bag in 1/2 a cup of water and pour it over ice.
Stir in the brown sugar
Add your milk on top and stir.
ENJOY!
This edition’s affirmation is brought to you by Kendrick Lamar.
See y’all next time.
Note: some or all of the images in this newsletter were created with artificial intelligence. Others were photographed or designed by me, Kenya Hunter.