We move forward, even if we're crying

I'm facing unemployment, trying to remain optimistic and build something I've been afraid to build for years -- my own life on my own terms.

Aug 02, 2025

There are a lot of cliche quotes that have been resonating with me these last few weeks since I learned I wouldn’t be retained on a contract for my current employer. One of those cliche’s is “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I’ve been a journalist for close to six years now, and as tumultuous as the industry has been, I’ve never faced a layoff or been fired from any position. So when I took a temporary, two-year job as a public health reporter at a legacy publication, I remember feeling an alarm in my system about it. “What if the funding runs dry? What if they don’t want you anymore? What if … what if … what if …” There was nowhere to go after that but off the edge of a cliff, but surely I would be able to figure out something in two years.

So now here I am at the end of that two years. I’m not being retained, and I’m more than devastated about it. I am fearful of this job market where I see “more than 100 people applied” on a job posting that’s only been up for three days. I am nervous to figure out how I’ll get my ADHD and anxiety treatment. Or how I’ll get my hair retwisted. Or meet some of my basic needs. Or go to therapy.

I do know that I want to do something different. I don’t want to let fear and uncertainty keep me from moving forward.

I have about six more weeks until I’m done at my current job, and I’m not sure what I want to do next. I’ve had dreams of being someone else – an entrepreneur, a talk show host or an influencer. But for the last six years of my journalism career, I’ve simply stuck to what is safe so I can have health insurance. I want to do work that helps people, which is why I started building my doula practice, The Maternal Bridge. But even that feels so uncertain.

So this newsletter, as it stands now, will be a documentation of Kenya Hunter building her dream life. Finally, I can Talk, is my attempt to live a life where I can be my authentic self without compromise. This newsletter doesn’t have a structure right now. I just needed to start it. I’m sure that structure will eventually come together, but for right now, this is it!

How I’m avoiding getting stuck

We all know job searching can be stressful and sometimes discouraging. As an ADHD girl, I’m someone who needs a routine to remain grounded and focused. So here are some nonnegotiables I’m requiring myself to meet daily, weekly and monthly.

Maintaining my gym split:

I’ve been on a few fitness journeys in recent years, but they’ve been difficult to maintain. Between big life changes, like my cat dying, my boyfriend moving to Atlanta, losing friends to conflict and death and debilitating anxiety, the gym can feel like less of a priority.

I’ll eventually write about this, but in the last few years, I’ve gained nearly 40 lbs. And gaining weight doesn’t scare me – I’m aware that I’m a woman who is close to my thirties and that my body changes. What alarmed me was that it took months for me to notice that my body was changing so significantly. If I had kept going on with life the way I was – eating the most convenient fast food, not moving my body or making an effort to touch grass, my health was going to be at risk. I remember going up a set of stairs once in 2023 and I couldn’t understand why I could barely catch my breath! And that just isn’t how I want to live my life.

So I’ve been making efforts to make sure that no matter what is happening in my life, even if it’s extremely difficult to push through, I must go to the gym and move my body. I’m about to be 30, yes, but I just don’t see why my knees need to start popping so soon in life.

Every day, I must do one thing that gets me closer to making money:

Growing up, I’ve always been focused on getting and keeping a job because that’s what we’re taught, right? Get you a job with some benefits and you’ll be ok for the rest of your life. That job will take care of you.

Yeah … I think I’m past that era of my life. Like, yes, I think a job is good! Great, even! But for the last two years, I’ve been waiting to hear whether or not my job – or my only stream of income – will keep making sure that I’m stable in life. And I just don’t think I ever want to be in this position again. I don’t ever want to be waiting on a company to decide whether or not I will have health insurance or if I’ll have the ability to meet my basic needs. So instead of being focused on getting a job, I am changing my thought process to income.

That means that I can do a variety of things to get closer to making money. That can be making a networking call to someone in an organization I can partner with, or making a social media graphic for my doula business. It can also mean applying for jobs or taking advantage of personal development opportunities that will make my business stronger. At the end of the day, I do not only want one stream of income. I need more, and I’m following the money from now on.

Being kind, gentle and patient with myself

I can be honest and say that I’ve been dealing with a wave of emotions in the last few weeks. I have never been on the way out of a job without another one lined up, and I’m nervous. I cry a LOT. But this is the thing – there have been times where I’ve let my feelings keep me from meeting my other nonnegotiables. If I cry, that means the gym isn’t happening. If I cry right before I start filling out a job application, that means I’m putting that job application to the side.

On one hand, tears aren’t going to form a river that leads me to monetary opportunities. On the other hand, I need to cry. So I’ve been giving myself some time to cry, while also accepting that sometimes I may just have to cry while I’m writing a cover letter. Or I may have to let the tears fall while I’m putting on my gym clothes. Then once I get to bed, I can cry until I fall asleep!

Question: what are some things you’ve done to remain grounded during a transitional period in your life? Inbox me or leave a comment to give me some ideas!

Finally, I can Talk